"Feast on Your Life"

It's a wonderful idea, full of family gatherings, and memories being made, and stories told. When one is sitting in a comfortable time, it is easy to think of adventures that will be had and pleasant evenings spent. In general, I love the idea of sitting down to life's banquet and sampling every dish in sight.

Tonight, though, is a sad night.

I got a job, today. It isn't much. At most, it will pull in just enough that we can stretch our tiny budget over the bills that keep trying to escape. And, while it's a good thing, it's a little bit of my days that I've given to somebody not in my family. It's a little bit of time that I cannot devote to my daughter, my husband, myself. It will help us. Will it help us enough?

The Baby One is happy, too. Her tooth finally popped through last night. It's been pestering her for days, and we've all wondered why she wasn't as happy as usual. Today she was mostly back to her cheerful self. She spent the day reaching for things just out of her grasp, trying for all she's worth to figure out her body, and falling on the floor as her reward. She would cry, get picked up, and start reaching again. Incorrigible girl.

My husband came home sick tonight. It came later this year than usual. It's nice that he doesn't have to suffer through finals along with the stuffy nose and sore throat. We've been through this before; we'll get through it again. It pains my heart, though, to hear him say he's cold. My husband is never cold, except when he's sick. I reach out to touch him, and his skin feels hot. That pains my heart even more. And all the while, he keeps saying, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You need me. The Baby One needs me. I'm so sorry." I tell him it's okay. Of course it's okay. People get sick. It's part of life.

For tonight, though, can I skip out on the vegetables? I'll eat the turkey and bread and even the silly fruitcake. Tonight, can I just sit back and admire the beauty of the dish? I'll eat my vegetables tomorrow, I promise. Just, please, not tonight.